Nuchal Testing

So we went back yesterday to take the nuchal testing again because when we tried it last week, Baby B was too busy spinning around to be bothered with sitting still so they could take the pictures. Thankfully the babies were a lot calmer yesterday ANDDDDD thanks to my friend Sami (who's also pregnant and just a couple days ahead of me) who mentioned that she was going to take a VHS tape to record her ultrasound, we took a take to see if they'd do the same for us, and they did. Either the tape started late, or the transferring the tape to digital went wrong cause we've only got about 4 minutes... when the ultrasound actually lasted like 20 minutes. But something is better than nothing, right?

Soooo without further delay, here are two pictures a the video.

Puke, Names, & Bumps

I was having a good day yesterday, food wise.... eating greens and veggies, actually had an appetite... then went to lunch for some rice and beans (I'm a vegetarian)... I park my car under a nice big tree with shade, start eating, but then started to feel pain in my stomach like it was in a knot, so I had to stop eating. Then I was on the phone with Pablo catching up... hung up after a few minutes, and then.... PUKE. Everything I had eaten in the whole day came rushing back up. :( This is the worse feeling ever. I hate throwing up. Hate it hate it hate it! Then realizing that this basically made it as if I hadn't eaten anything all day as far as the babies go... I got really sad and started crying, feeling like a crap mom. I went back to work to try to get through the day (we have a lot of stuff going on and I don't like to leave early) But then after a while I started to feel bad again, so I just went home. Was so scared of throwing up again in the car while driving, but thankfully I didn't. After I got home, Pablo got here and he made me soup and I just laid in bed the whole rest of the day and night.

While we're just here we start talking about names for the babies, since we don't have any boy names really... so we start looking online for baby naming ideas... Don't find anything we like though. Finally, after much debating, we got all four names down (no thanks to the online naming things). Here they are:

Girl A: Luna Vale Arellano
Girl B: Gaia Lily Arellano
Boy A: Emiliano Alexander Arellano
Boy B: Orion Constantine Arellano

So those are the names. Not sure when we'll find out what the sex of the babies are.... I go for a big ultrasound tomorrow in the morning.. The dreaded nuchal translucency screening. I'm not sure why I'm even taking it. I don't think I could end the pregnancy if there was something "wrong" or "different" So as of now I'm just doing it to get to see the babies again. From what they told me they'll focus in on each baby for 20 to 30 minutes. YAY! I read somewhere that you might be able to determine the sex of the babies at the end of 11 weeks, which is where I'll be tomorrow... So we'll see. *fingers crossed* for well developed cooperative babies.

And finally... while taking a shower last night I noticed that there's definitely a bump on my tummy. Now, I was overweight to begin with when I got pregnant, so I know it'll be harder for it to show on me... but there's definitely a bump... Or a more pronounced bump. It looks so strange. Even when I was laying down I couldn't stop looking at it. Suppose it just makes the whole thing seem more real. Eeeeee little leeches in my tummy!!!!!!! Can't wait to see them tomorrow. Make the day go faster please!!!!

Ok... Now it's off to work and hoping I don't throw up again. The leeches need their nutrition dammit.

Koo Koo for Babies

So Pablo and I are completely nuts.

Tell me why we aren't even 3 months pregnant yet but we already bought a crib (that's already built and next to our bed) and why we have begun to obsess over the weirdest things?? What things, you might ask? Well.... diapers! Never ever in my life did I ever think I would be excited over diapers. NEVER! Until looking online for a cloth diaper service, and not finding any, I stumbled onto this page gdiapers.com.

Basically, I'm a tree hugging hippie deep down inside and I refuse to use disposable diapers. They're horrible and evil and I WONT DO IT.... but the alternative sux also. I was desperately looking for a service to help with cloth because it just seems like too much to take care off two babies at the same time and deal with the cloth diapers and all the washing thats involved.... I did mention before that we live in a very small studio apartment in Miami Beach right? The laundry is on the first floor and shared by the whole building... It's not like I can just do laundry when ever I want. And a tiny space filled with dirty diapers isn't my ideal living arrangement. Soooooo I was starting to stress out... But then I saw that page... And it all looked TOO GOOD to be true. Basically it's an outrageously cute "cloth" diaper outside, a plastic liner inside, and then you stuff what looks to me like a giant maxi pad into the liner... then you put it on and it's even got little velcro snappies on the back to close. Once the little "max pad" in the center gets wet or poopied, you take it out, rip it on the sides (easier then it sounds) and FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I get an A-men!!!??!

I become skeptical because again, it looks too good to be true. They have to not work, or they have to be made of some horrible matterial.... So I start searching the net for anything I can find on them.... And I find a decent amount of information.. and none of it is bad. A couple people have problems with leaks, but find solutions, and what few negative comments I do find sound more like
negative skeptical people like me and less like any fact to back up any claims. AND TO BOOT!!!!!! The owners of the company search out these posts online and respond to just about all of them. WTF is that!!! Who does that???? Someone who really gives a shit, that's who. So, without so much as a test run, I'm sold. At the very least these are the first choice for us to try on the little leeches once they come out.

Here's the nutty obsessive bit though... I find out that they sell them at WildOats which is 5 blocks from my apartment. So we went on Mother's Day and got a little starter kit. Ripped that box open like it was a Christmas present and both Pablo and I were all "OMG how cute is that" over everything. Then, I start taking them everywhere, including work, to show people..... I haven't even used them yet and I'm already showing people!!!! They really are cute, and if they really work like people say they do, and they work for our twins... Well... I'm going to promote the crap (no pun intended!) out of them.

Really honestly makes me feel a little calmer inside when I see people and products like this.... That really make a difference.

They're pricier than disposable diapers, and having limited income with TWO babies on the way doesn't help, at all... but this is how I see it. You either pay now at the store, or you pay a bigger price later on down the road at a landfill. It's the equivalent of organic food in my eyes.... You either pay a little more for organic fruit/veg now... Or you can pay the doctor/hospital when you're older and trying to fight some weird cancer.

So there you go. Ok I have to get to work....... as I look and see the crib in the room and think to myself "omg im pregnant with twins"..... lol. <3

Mothers Day

So it's the first official mothers day for me. I would love to say it was all butterflies and roses but this would be a lie. Basically I feel like a complete ass with a sprinkle of insanity for good measure.

Basically, last night I was in weird bored mood. I didn't want to stay home. I didn't want to go out. I just didn't feel happy and couldn't think of anything to make it better. Pablo came home after work and anything he did sorta just made me more upset. He didn't really "do" anything though, sorta.

I asked him to get Sunday morning off of work so we could spend it together and go to church (I'm not very religious, this is a different kind of church, I'll elaborate more later).... They're doing a thing for the mom's and showing pictures and they're gonna show our babies (ultrasound) on the big monitors and it's all cute... So I wanted him to go, and he wanted to go. BUT his boss wont give him the two or three hours off... And Pablo is all "whatever" about it now, even though earlier in the week he was all "I wanna go!!" (on his own, by the way!!! this wasn't me asking him to come) So then that pisses me off and hurts my feelings.

Then he lays in bed with me and he passes out while I'm looking at stuff on the internet... And that bothers me... (enter irrational feelings, i know, i know!) I try to wake him up so he can make food cause my stomach was hurting and I hadn't eaten enough in the day (my back hurts A LOT, so standing up for 20 mins in the kitchen sux for me) and all he could say was "10 more minutes ok"... and that really pissed me off... I wanted to throw the mouse at his face. HOW DARE HE NOT TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN HEEEEEEEEE DID THIS TO ME!!!!!!.......

So really soaking in the victim feeling, I get up to start to make some pasta... Not as easy as one would think since we don't use canned processed stuff.. We make it from scratch, almost. So there I am, slamming every door in the kitchen and dropping the pan on the stove much harder then was necessary... mind you, we live in a very small studio apartment in Miami Beach... I could have throw the hot water on his face without much effort, so I'm suuuuuure he heard all the slamming... But do you think he budged an inch?? No.

I finish with the food but by the time its done I don't feel like eating it anymore, and really it didn't come out too good.... So I ate a few bites, enough to stop the stomach ache, and then just went to sleep.... fuming. Sure the babies appreciated the spike in blood pressure.... :(

Then in the morning he's up and getting ready to leave for work, I wake up but close my eyes every time he comes back into view so he'll think I'm asleep. All I keep thinking in my head is "he better not DARE come and kiss me goodbye, cause I'm going to pop him in the face".... (I'm sure I would have been equally as hurt and upset if he didn't try to kiss me goodbye... but that's too rational a thought for me to of had right at that moment) So of course, he does go to kiss me and I just put a mean face and push him away and cover my face with the blanket. He goes to kiss my arm and I push him again. Then he leaves for work.

After he leaves, my phone goes off to say I have a text message. I turn around to get it and see a big gift bag he left on the bed next to me (enter the rushing feelings of "Michelle you are such a fucking asshole") I check my phone and it's a message from him saying Happy Mothers Day. (a side note, Pablo has never, before me, celebrated anything. He just wasn't raised like that in Uruguay, where he's from) So I feel like an asshole, and completely insane because half of me is still pissed but I can't actually say why. I text him back.. he tells me its alright and he loves me, and that he didn't do anything (the gift) that it was the babies. So after 10 minutes of sitting there feeling like the worlds biggest insane jerk, I open my gift and read the little tag that says "from your two babies and their father, with love."

I'm a jerk...... I'm not a jerk,.... but I sure can behave like one.

Think I can get away with blaming this one on the hormones?

Anyways.. hope everyone has a nice Mothers Day.

The Blank Page

So this is the blank page of the first entry. Always intimidating. I guess I should start out with the reason why I started to do this blog... partially because we found out a little over a month ago that we (being myself and my bf Pablo) are pregnant.... then we found out a week or so later that it's twins.... and part of me wants to be able to document this somehow so I have something, aside from my horrible memory, to look back on. I've always loved the idea of scrap booking, but I'm just much too lazy for that... plus I would just buy the cute miniature things and look at them, but could never actually bring myself to opening them up and "using" them. So maybe this blog thing will work out a little better.

So as of today I'm 10 weeks and 5 days along. The whole thing is very strange. There are days where the whole thing feels fake and I couldn't possibly be pregnant... but then the intense back aches and desire to vomit my intestines out kicks in to bring the whole thing back into reality.

At first I was sick 24hrs a day so I had no energy to worry or stress out about anything in the future... But the nausea has started to subside (except if I wait too long to eat, at which point it rushes back) so now I have the energy to start to worry... but I'm trying not to.

Things I worry about most:
1) How the hell are we going to be able to take care of two babies at the same time??
2) Who's going to take care of the babies when I have to go back to work?
3) Am I going to go back to work?? I love my job. It really is a good job. The owners care about the people who work for them, and I have the best boss in the whole world who at this point is more like a friend then a boss. At the same time, I don't want to miss out on my kids being little and growing up.
4) We don't make enough money. How can we change this?
5) We only have one car... this is fine. But it's a two door car. How do you get twins in and out of a two door care?? I don't think that's possible. So we have to sell this car and get a new car.... problem: credit is temporarily shot thanks to mess from last relationship that I'm still cleaning up.
6) I think, though I'm a good person, that I'm nuts at the same time.... how can I make a good mom?? I have more issues than Paris Hilton has dollars.... and I have to raise and teach TWO babies how to survive in this insane world???? Are you serious?

There's many more, but lets just say these are at the top of the list. I know there is a solution for everything. At times, even multiple solutions. I just have to decide what those are while simultaneously avoiding a nervous breakdown. I can do that, right? I mean, how many nervous breakdowns can one person honestly have in 24 months??? LOL, it's been an interesting life.... I'll explain more as I make more of these postings.

Anyways, enough for now. Must search online for baby things that I'm starting to (in a good way) obsess about.