Mothers Day

So it's the first official mothers day for me. I would love to say it was all butterflies and roses but this would be a lie. Basically I feel like a complete ass with a sprinkle of insanity for good measure.

Basically, last night I was in weird bored mood. I didn't want to stay home. I didn't want to go out. I just didn't feel happy and couldn't think of anything to make it better. Pablo came home after work and anything he did sorta just made me more upset. He didn't really "do" anything though, sorta.

I asked him to get Sunday morning off of work so we could spend it together and go to church (I'm not very religious, this is a different kind of church, I'll elaborate more later).... They're doing a thing for the mom's and showing pictures and they're gonna show our babies (ultrasound) on the big monitors and it's all cute... So I wanted him to go, and he wanted to go. BUT his boss wont give him the two or three hours off... And Pablo is all "whatever" about it now, even though earlier in the week he was all "I wanna go!!" (on his own, by the way!!! this wasn't me asking him to come) So then that pisses me off and hurts my feelings.

Then he lays in bed with me and he passes out while I'm looking at stuff on the internet... And that bothers me... (enter irrational feelings, i know, i know!) I try to wake him up so he can make food cause my stomach was hurting and I hadn't eaten enough in the day (my back hurts A LOT, so standing up for 20 mins in the kitchen sux for me) and all he could say was "10 more minutes ok"... and that really pissed me off... I wanted to throw the mouse at his face. HOW DARE HE NOT TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN HEEEEEEEEE DID THIS TO ME!!!!!!.......

So really soaking in the victim feeling, I get up to start to make some pasta... Not as easy as one would think since we don't use canned processed stuff.. We make it from scratch, almost. So there I am, slamming every door in the kitchen and dropping the pan on the stove much harder then was necessary... mind you, we live in a very small studio apartment in Miami Beach... I could have throw the hot water on his face without much effort, so I'm suuuuuure he heard all the slamming... But do you think he budged an inch?? No.

I finish with the food but by the time its done I don't feel like eating it anymore, and really it didn't come out too good.... So I ate a few bites, enough to stop the stomach ache, and then just went to sleep.... fuming. Sure the babies appreciated the spike in blood pressure.... :(

Then in the morning he's up and getting ready to leave for work, I wake up but close my eyes every time he comes back into view so he'll think I'm asleep. All I keep thinking in my head is "he better not DARE come and kiss me goodbye, cause I'm going to pop him in the face".... (I'm sure I would have been equally as hurt and upset if he didn't try to kiss me goodbye... but that's too rational a thought for me to of had right at that moment) So of course, he does go to kiss me and I just put a mean face and push him away and cover my face with the blanket. He goes to kiss my arm and I push him again. Then he leaves for work.

After he leaves, my phone goes off to say I have a text message. I turn around to get it and see a big gift bag he left on the bed next to me (enter the rushing feelings of "Michelle you are such a fucking asshole") I check my phone and it's a message from him saying Happy Mothers Day. (a side note, Pablo has never, before me, celebrated anything. He just wasn't raised like that in Uruguay, where he's from) So I feel like an asshole, and completely insane because half of me is still pissed but I can't actually say why. I text him back.. he tells me its alright and he loves me, and that he didn't do anything (the gift) that it was the babies. So after 10 minutes of sitting there feeling like the worlds biggest insane jerk, I open my gift and read the little tag that says "from your two babies and their father, with love."

I'm a jerk...... I'm not a jerk,.... but I sure can behave like one.

Think I can get away with blaming this one on the hormones?

Anyways.. hope everyone has a nice Mothers Day.